Small Hours
by Ellie12
Summary: A good night's sleep doesn't come easily to those who have been through as much as Leia and Han have. Written for the September 2019 HanLeia Challenge prompt "tropes."


Their lives over the past few weeks in the aftermath of Endor had been a whirlwind. They'd barely spent ten nights together in the month since they'd returned from saving him on Tatooine. And more than a few of those nights they'd both been so exhausted that their time in bed was closer to unconsciousness than sleep, or anything else. Eventually, though, they found a few nights together in the same place, with something like a reasonable amount of sleep.

Leia had found it not just restful, but restorative. A couple nights of healthy amounts of sleep left her feeling less like an automaton and more like a purposeful leader with a plan for the galaxy's future. And there was something about falling asleep tangled up with Han, too, that left her sated and happy, even if all they'd been doing was sleeping or talking.

These last two nights there hadn't been much talking involved, though there had been a little whispering and even some giggling, for the first time she could remember in years, and like nothing she remembered. She'd been laughing madly as his fingers ran up her ribs as he took off her shirt, nearly falling backwards on the bed as she gasped for breath, and she was sure it had all been part of his strategy. He'd laughed, too, as her long hair brushed across his stomach as she moved astride him, tickling anew as she arched her back, as she rocked over him. They'd both come so hard that they fell asleep almost immediately, wrapped up in one another and smiling like fools. It had felt good, so good, and she'd been lulled into a peaceful slumber, feeling safe and loved.

Which left her a bit confused, when she woke abruptly from a sound sleep for no obvious reason. The room was dark, only the chrono glowing faint green, reading 0218. She rolled onto her back and took a few deep breaths, trying to figure out what had awakened her. Han was beside her, still asleep.

Except, she realized, he was not sleeping so peacefully. Though his breathing was slow-almost too slow-tension was radiating off of him, his body stiff, muscles taut. A slow breath hissed out of his grimacing lips as she watched him. They'd had so little time together, but she'd not seen him experience anything like this in his sleep before.

"Han?" She rolled onto her side, facing him. One hand hovered over his shoulder, hesitant to touch him, usure of his reaction. "Han?"

But her gentle repetition of his name brought no response, even when she said it louder, more insistently. Propping herself up on one elbow, she tentatively rested a hand on his shoulder as she said his name one more time.

That little bit of human touch was all it took to awaken him, and he leapt as if shocked, sitting bolt upright and looking around frantically in the darkness. She drew back momentarily, then as she realized his confusion, reached out again to stroke his upper arm.

"Leia?" he eventually huffed out between panicky, panting breaths. His whole body seemed to be shaking.

"I'm here, Han, we're on Home One. Are you all right?" She knew he wasn't by how docile he was as she urged him back down onto the bed. One hand slid down his arm, fingers grazing across his wrist, where she could feel his pulse still racing. The other hand traced blindly over his face in the darkness, feeling the tense furrow of his brow, the tightly closed eyes, even as she tried to soothe him, combing her fingers through his hair.

Finally, she could feel him relaxing beside her, moving his head just slightly into her fingers as she began to massage his scalp lightly. Yet he remained silent, aside from the occasional sigh. She thought perhaps he might just fall back asleep, and she wouldn't begrudge him that.

"I was back in the carbonite." His barely-whisper was loud in the silence.

She said nothing, merely leaned forward enough to kiss his temple, then resumed the steady, rhythmic movement of her hand through his hair. He hadn't wanted to talk about the carbonite, not in the maelstrom of flight from Jabba's and return to the fleet and the mission to Endor; she hadn't pressed him, had tentatively inquired a few times, asked a few leading questions, but he'd been evasive or uncommunicative, and she'd let him have whatever time and space he needed to process it. Goodness knows she had enough experience of her own on that front, and understood the need for time and space.

He turned suddenly towards, her, curling into her, almost fetal, clutching at her. His hands were still cold against her warm skin, as they spanned her back, pulling her close. She could feel his gasping breaths against the skin of her breast as he rested his forehead against her collarbone, the surprising wetness of his tears. Not for the first time in her life, she wished she was taller, now so that she could wrap herself around him protectively the way he could with her, envelop him in herself.

"You're safe now, I've got you," she murmured as she continued to stroke her hands slowly through his hair, and across his upper back as it shook. It took her a few moments to realize that the shuddering wasn't due to his tears but due to shivers wracking his body. When she tried to shift just a bit, he clutched desperately at her.

"You're cold, Han, I'm just pulling the blankets back up," she reassured him.

"Never be warm again." His teeth were almost chattering as she pulled all the blankets up over their naked bodies. For a moment she considered suggesting pajamas, but warm skin would heat him up faster, and was much more pleasant. Instead, she tugged the thick quilt up to his chin, then rolled over.

"Here, wrap yourself around me. Though I'm not sure how much I'll help."

He didn't need her invitation, and was wrapping himself around her even as she spoke, legs tangling with hers and arms locking her against his chest. "So warm," he sighed into her ear as he burrowed in.

"That's a first." She laughed gently, fingers sweeping across the corded muscle of his forearms. "You told me on the way to Bespin that my toes were made of ice."

Behind her, he just hummed and tightened his embrace, flush against her from shoulders to toes. The shivering stopped soon after he curled around her, and his breath tickling the hair behind her ear.

"It was like...I wasn't quite asleep, like that minute before you wake up? I've gotten-stuck there a couple times now." He spoke quietly, safely behind her, without having to look at her. "I couldn't move, couldn't _breathe_, but sometimes I could almost hear…."

She wrapped her hands around his, fingers twisting through his. But she stayed quiet, just letting him absorb her touch.

Eventually, he continued, "I wanted to panic and I couldn't. Couldn't breathe or scream or try to fight my way out. I was just frozen. And I knew time was passing. It didn't feel like as much time as it was but...it felt like a long time. 'Cause all I could do was think, try to think about anything to keep myself from panicking. Thought about you a lot."

His arms tightened around her, enough to draw out a sighed, "Oh?" she hadn't truly meant to voice.

"Yeah." Soft kisses followed the curve of her jaw for a moment. "Thought a lot about what you said to me. But that made me more scared about what happened to you after. So I tried to think about happier things."

They hadn't had much of that, in the time they'd known each other. "Like what?" She traced one finger along the back of his arm, up towards his shoulder. The muscles were still taut as durasteel, and hardly relaxed under her touch.

Only after he took a deep breath did she feel him relax at all, his grip on her loosening. "Feel like I should say something like our trip to Bespin or somethin'. And sometimes it was. But mostly it was that smile when you gave me that medal back on Yavin."

"Really?"

"First time I really saw you looking happy."

She had to take her own moment to sigh at that. They'd known each other for over three years, but there'd been far too little happiness, too little laughter. Maybe now they would have time for more of that, together. She wanted a galaxy where being shad the chance to be happy, to enjoy their lives, wanted it for herself now more than ever.

"I'm happy right here, right now." She gave his biceps a squeeze, as they began to relax.

"Are you? You've seemed so...tired. Stressed."

Humming her agreement, she stroked along his arms, which were feeling more like their normal, warm selves, and ceased their shivering. "I have been. It's difficult work, building a government out of a rebellion. I've been _exhausted_, and all alone. But these last few nights, I've had you, and it's made all the difference."

He kissed the top of her head once, twice. "You were dead to the galaxy last night, Princess."

Groaning, she twisted in his arms to face him, resting her forehead against his chin. "Those damned Pimmlotts. The negotiations with them-"

"Hey, no, I didn't want to bring any of that up. Just, it's good to see you getting some rest when you obviously need it." Angling his head down, he caught her lips lightly.

"You're a good argument for coming to bed, rather than staying up all right working."

"Just what every man wants to hear." He laughed, softly, but actually laughed, and she could feel the tension easing out of him.

She kissed him back, halting his laughter but appreciating it no less. He gave her an appreciative squeeze, then relaxed his grip, skimming his hands down her back to her hips.

"Feeling better now?" One hand trailed down from his shoulder to brush across his chest.

"Mmmhmm." He kissed her again, then rested his forehead against hers. "I sleep better here with you. Tonight aside—that was the first time I've had that nightmare since getting back."

"You have it a lot when you're away?" The hair of his chest slid through her fingers as they glided across the broad plane of muscle.

"Don't sleep much when I'm away," he mumbled.

She kissed him on the forehead. "Then you should get as much as you can while we're together."

"Yeah. Supposed to get my next assignment the end of the week, though."

For as lovely as these few nights had been, she knew they wouldn't have too many more together just now-she was leaving for negotiations the following week, and he'd be back out on another mission for weeks or even months. Feeling the sleepy arm tucking around her, she thought how much he obviously needed a few quiet days together, too..

"Do you want to keep coming back to this?"

He tensed under her again, pulling away a bit. In an effort not to push too far, she realized she'd not been clear enough in what she was trying to ask.

"I mean, before my negotiations next week, we're supposed to decide on a permanent capital. Depending on where we decide to go, relocation could happen fairly quickly. Should I be requesting shared quarters?"

"They've been that anyway, haven't they?" He traced loose, lazy spirals down her back.

"Practically, yes. But we've been in the same place so little…."

"So you wanna make it official."

"I like coming home and knowing you're here. Or will be coming here," she whispered.

"I like coming home to you." He sighed, then continued tentatively, "I've never had that before. Most of my life, home's been on the Falcon, was wherever I already was. Never had to anywhere to go back to."

She smiled. "Home. I miss it. I haven't had a home in years"

"Get some sleep now, and pick us out a good new one then, huh?" His kiss held all the warmth and promise of _home_.

"With quarters for two."

"Mmmhmmm."

He yawned, and she mirrored him, then allowed her head to drop down onto the cool pillows. In minutes, they were both asleep again, dreaming of more pleasant futures.


End file.
